This time, it’s personal! We just played the Lions a few days ago, but that’s OK. We’re here to play them again, this time with a different QB as Biscuit is down, Daniel is up. DAMN DANIEL! BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE BEARS!!!!!
But really, Tyler Bray has been activated from the practice squad to back up Daniel tomorrow but fear not – Daniel KNOWS Nagy’s system and will do just enough to get out there with a W.
Now, for this Lions match up – I talked with a forgettable hockey player, karaoke participant and tandem bike enthusiast, Raymond the Bruce.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
We talk Thanksgiving, firing people before the holidays and the booming Detroit real estate situation. Oh yeah, and the game. Let’s go!
Q: The Bears already beat the Lions once this year, why do you want to do this again?
A: The NFC North is weak this year. I don’t think the top team in the division is much better than the last place team in the division. I find it hilarious the Bears finally put a couple games together and the whole town is talking like it’s 1985! All the pigeon Blackhawk fans have to jump off their wagon and jump on the Bears wagon. Holy shit what a bunch of band wagon fans. The Blackhawk fan established in 2010 will now become a Bears fan established in 2018.
It’s not that the NFC North is weak, its that no one can muster the strength and nastiness of the Bears. I mean, the Lions are gonna suck for a few more years and the Vikings and Packers will still be good ball clubs. Also, hockey is stupid. Just ask Chance the Rapper.
Q: Best Thanksgiving side dish?
A: Stuffing. Duh.
Correct – but you forgot to specify: WHITE CASTLE STUFFING.
Q: Football on TV all day on Thanksgiving, or do you put on a movie at some point?
A: I’ll watch the Lions in the morning. They always play first because they are usually the peasant game of the day and no one really gives a crap about them. Then I help cook, play some football with the cousins, and drink heavily. No movies, just football.
I’m glad I have your schedule for tomorrow. Now I just have to find some cousins and play some foosball. Do you have something against peasants?
Q: Being Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for as a Lions fan this year?
A: As a Lions fan I am Thankful they have won games this year. Any year you get more than one win is a win in my book. Also, as a Lions fan I know they are a bunch of peasants, but I still love them and will always hold hope with the realization I will be let down. Similar to a Bears fan I guess. I actually like how the Bears play, but HOLY SHIT the fan base is the worst.
I’m not the worst Raymond, you know better. I’m a ride or die yet part of that fan base. Again with the peasants!
Q: Do you like Matt Patricia?
A: I like the idea of him. But just because he worked under the greatest cheater of all times doesn’t mean he can bring his cheating ways to Detroit. I really hope he can teach the Lions to cheat like the Pats so they can stop being a loser franchise and get some cheating rings like New England.
Long as he keeps losing, I love him.
Q: Would you ever fire someone 2 weeks before Christmas?
A: Definitely.
JUDAS!
Q: Detroit seems to be a thriving metropolis with low real estate costs. Explain.
A: Downtown Detroit has totally been revitalized and many of the foreclosures homes have been torn down. Low real estate will allow investors and young adults who work for the Fortune 500 companies to buy downtown near their work. One company recently moved downtown Detroit, not sure if you’ve ever heard of it… they call it Google. Heard that’s a decent company.
Low, LOW prices in Detroit. Thanks for the tip Raymond the Bruce.
Detroit is a dump Raymond, you know it, America knows it, just help Detroit figure it out that they are in fact, a dump. AskJeeves is what’s up – google?
Q: What gives you the right?
A: You give me the right Danny.
I mean, you’re not wrong.
Q: Is there a special reason as to WHY the Lions play every year on Thanksgiving?
A: Detroit was the first team to play on Thanksgiving Day. In 1934, (obviously I looked the year up) the franchise owner decided that his team needed a good old Jackie Moon marketing trick to get fans, so he decided to play a game on Thanksgiving day and it worked. So no matter how crappy the Lions are TRADITION gets them a Thanksgiving Day game.
I didn’t think I’d learn anything but here we are. Thanks.
Q: Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio and Idris Elba all walk into a bar and you pop a boner. What’s your next move?
A: Ha! Well, Leo walks into a room I’m rock solid. So I guess I drop my pants and compare. I feel confident I got Leo and Brad beat, I’m not sure about the weapon Idris Elba is packing. I can’t imagine it’s small. Although that would be funny if this gorgeous man that could crush anyone he wanted had a tiny horn.
IDRIS ELBA PROBABLY
I like that you went with wanting to compare dongs with them. Thankfully, there was no one “finishing” in your story.
Q: What’s the final score on Thanksgiving between the Bears and Lions?
A: Lions win 31-24
Bears and Chase Daniel escape the slums of Detroit with a win, 23-21.
BEAR DOWN!
GO BEARS! 